How to Survive
the Loss of a Love

HOW TO SURVIVE THE LOSS OF A LOVE

by
Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D. & Peter McWilliams

Table of Contents

Understanding Loss

Obvious Losses

Not-So-Obvious Losses

Loss Related To Age

Limbo Losses

Inevitable Losses

Other Losses

What Loss Feels Like

The Stages of Recovery

Surviving

One: You Will Survive

Two: If You Need It, Get Help at Once

Three: Acknowledge the Loss

Four: You Are Not Alone

Five: It's OK to Feel

Six: Be with the Pain

Seven: You're Great!

Eight: Give Yourself Time to Heal

Nine: The Healing Process Has Its Progressions and Regressions

Ten: Tomorrow Will Come

Eleven: Breathe!

Twelve: Get Lots of Rest--Now

Thirteen: Stick to Your Schedule

Fourteen: Keep Decision-Making to a Minimum

Fifteen: It's OK to Make "Silly" Mistakes

Sixteen: It's OK to Go through the Motions in Slow Motion

Seventeen: It's OK to Need Comforting

Eighteen: Seek the Support of Others

Nineteen: Touching and Hugging

Twenty: Find Others Who Have Survived a Similar Loss

Twenty-one: Seek Wise Guidance

Twenty-two: Surround Yourself with Things That Are Alive

Twenty-three: Reaffirm Your Beliefs

Twenty-four: Sundays Are the Worst

Twenty-five: The Question of Suicide

Healing

Twenty-six: Do Your Mourning Now

Twenty-seven: Earlier Losses May Surface

Twenty-eight: Be Gentle with Yourself

Twenty-nine: Heal at Your Own Pace

Thirty: Don't Try to Rekindle the Old Relationship

Thirty-one: Make a Pact with a Friend

Thirty-two: Mementos

Thirty-three: Anticipate a Positive Outcome

Thirty-four: Expect to Feel Afraid

Thirty-five: It's OK to Feel Depressed

Thirty-six: It's OK to Feel Anger

Thirty-seven: It's OK to Feel Guilty

Thirty-eight: You May Want to Hire a Professional or Two

Thirty-nine: When You Might Want Counseling or Therapy

Forty: A Complete Medical Workup May Be in Order

Forty-one: Some Depressions May Require Medication

Forty-two: Nutrition

Forty-three: Remember: You're Vulnerable

Forty-four: Beware of the Rebound

Forty-five: Under-Indulge in Addictive Activities

Forty-six: Pamper Yourself

Forty-seven: Dreams Can Be Healing

Forty-eight: Sleep Patterns May Change

Forty-nine: Sexual Desire May Change

Fifty: Remaining Distraught Is No Proof of Love

Fifty-one: Surround Yourself with Goodness and Light

Fifty-two: Pray, Meditate, Contemplate

Fifty-three: Keep a Journal

Fifty-four: There Is a Beauty in Sadness

Fifty-five: Let Yourself Heal Fully

Fifty-six: Affirm Yourself

Fifty-seven: Visualization

Fifty-eight: Use Color to Lift Your Spirit

Fifty-nine: Laugh!

Sixty: As Healing Continues

Growing

Sixty-one: You're Stronger Now

Sixty-two: Let Go of the Loss and Move On

Sixty-three: Forgiveness Is Letting Go

Sixty-four: Forgive the Other Person

Sixty-five: Forgive Yourself

Sixty-six: Take Stock of the Good

Sixty-seven: You Are a Better Person for Having Loved

Sixty-eight: Praise Yourself for the Courage to Relate

Sixty-nine: Changes

Seventy: Start Anew

Seventy-one: Invite New People into Your Life

Seventy-two: Develop New Interests. . .

Seventy-three: . . .But Don't Forget the Old Interests

Seventy-four: Groups

Seventy-five: Self-Improvement Anyone?

Seventy-six: Your Words Have Power

Seventy-seven: Think "Both/And" Rather Than "Either/Or"

Seventy-eight: The Freedom to Choose

Seventy-nine: It's OK to Ask

Eighty: It's OK for Others to Say No

Eighty-one: It's OK for Others to Say Yes

Eighty-two: Fear Can Be a Friend

Eighty-three: The Antidote for Anxiety Is Action

Eighty-four: Postpone Procrastination

Eighty-five: The Past

Eighty-six: Anniversaries

Eighty-seven: Solitude

Eighty-eight: Creativity

Eighty-nine: Enjoy!

Ninety: Appreciation

Ninety-one: Do Something for Someone Else

Ninety-two: Appreciate Your Growth

Ninety-three: Your Happiness Is Up to You

Ninety-four: Celebrate!

Copyright © 1967-1996 Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D. & Peter McWilliams